Longer than I can think back, I’ve longed to hold my own baby. I was always the one growing up who babysat the other children … but even at a tender age, I knew that this was nothing compared to what it would feel like to hold my own.
I’m not sure what it could possibly relate to. I don’t think that it would be explained by a conscious ‘I made you’ … perhaps it’s just ownership.
If it’s an ownership thing, does it mean I’m being selfish by wanting you?
I so look forward to you being dependent on me for your first few months, and then learning to hold yourself up, to recognize faces, words, and sounds.
Frank and I will be responsible for molding you into what you become. It’s going to be so exciting to watch.
3 responses to “For as long as I can remember …”
Dear Rebekah & Frank,
You guys are going to be such great parents. I am so excited for you, and can’t wait to hear the great news that you will one day be blessed with a beautiful baby!!!
Also, I am excited that I am the first to post a comment on this notebook!!!
Love,
Stefanie
I really wish I woulda thought to do this (write it all out). I think this is a wonderful idea, but I do have one question for you if you do not mind me being noisy. Why do you say Frank instead of your dad? I love reading your writing and the way you look at it. She will have a wonderful gift to treasure and that is simply amazing!
Ariel:
Thanks for the comment! I don’t find your question nosey in the least.
Honestly, I’m not too sure why I refered to him as ‘Frank’ instead of ‘your dad’. Looking back, all that I can assume is that the days were still early, and calling myself ‘mother’ and him ‘father’ still seemed foreign! I think it was only when my stomach started popping out, that it really hit home.
Despite knowing we’d have a safe landing, the early days of conception were almost like jumping off a cliff!! Lots of anxious apprehension! (Kinda like what I’m feeling now that I’m in the last month!!) lol